


As You Wish, Takamaki-San

by vivvav



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: F/F, Jean Takamaki, Killian MacPherson, The AFR Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-05-31 14:42:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15121637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivvav/pseuds/vivvav
Summary: Ann's new personal assistant is more than a little odd.





	1. Help Unwanted

**Author's Note:**

> Timeline Patrol: This takes place one year after "Jean Takamaki".

“Hi, sweetie!”

Children and parents alike gawked as Ann picked Jean up in a big hug. Jean’s classmates all knew that his mom was on TV, but usually Shiho picked him up from kindergarten, so the chance to see THE Ann Takamaki herself was rare. Ann, for her part, was used to this kind of attention, and easily ignored it.

“Hi, Mom.” Jean looked around. “Where’s Mama?”

“I had some free time today, so I decided that I wanted to come get you.” Ann let Jean down and took his hand, walking back to her car. “Hey, how about before we go home, you and I get some ice cream? What do you say?”

Jean stared at his mother quizzically until they arrived at the car.

“Is something wrong?” Ann asked.

“Did you come get me so you’d have an excuse to get ice cream?”

“Of course not!” Ann spoke incredulously as she opened the car door and made sure Jean got buckled in. “I just wanted to spend some time with you, and thought ice cream would be a fun way to do it.”

“Ok…” Jean watched Ann suspiciously as she shut the door and got into the driver’s seat. “Ice cream sounds good.”

“That’s the spirit!” Ann sported a devilish grin as she turned on the car’s ignition. “Now let’s have some fun!”

As Ann started to drive away, her phone’s ringtone came out through the car speakers. She looked to the car’s console and saw that her manager was calling.

“Hey, Gouda” Ann answered. “What’s up?”

“Where are you right now!?” Gouda’s two-pack-a-day voice asked irately.

“I’m picking up Jean from school.”

“What the hell are you doing there!?” Gouda shouted so loudly Ann had to turn the volume down. “That’s on the other side of town!”

“From what?” Ann asked.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'FROM WHAT'!?” The question was punctuated by the sound of a stack of papers being knocked over. “THE MAGAZINE SHOOT, ANN!”

“What are you talking about? That’s not ’til tomorrow.”

“It’s on the 15th!”

“Yeah, and that’s tomorrow.”

“NO IT’S NOT!”

“It’s not?”

“Today’s the 15th, Mom” Jean said.

“Well, crap.” Ann looked at the time. She was already 15 minutes late for the shoot. “Just let me drop Jean off at home first and I can be there in 40 minutes.”

“No good, Ann.” Gouda let out a prolonged groan. “They say if you don’t get there in 20 minutes they’re gonna cancel and make Kanami Mashita the cover instead.”

“Ok then…” Ann looked at Jean in the rearview mirror. “Change of plans, sweetie. I’m taking you to my job! Doesn’t that sound fun?”

“Are you sure that’s such a good idea?” Gouda asked. “This shoot is a little racy.”

“Right, right.” Ann sighed. While yes, she was using Jean as an excuse to get ice cream, she did genuinely want to spend the afternoon with her son. She didn’t seem to have much time for her family these days. But she was also in the running for the biggest role of her life, so she needed to really push her public presence right now. “I’ll see if Shiho can meet us at the shoot and grab him.”

* * *

“This better be good, Gouda.”

Ann was cranky as she stormed into her manager’s office. He’d promised her a day without any shoots or public appearances or any other kind of commitments so she could have some time with her family, then while she and Shiho were playing hide and seek with Jean her phone rang and Gouda told her that she had to come see him immediately.

“Don’t worry, Ann, this will only take a few minutes.”

Ann’s manager was not an impressive-looking man. Shirou Gouda was short, portly, and had a mousy face. The suits he wore never seemed to quite fit him no matter how many times he had them tailored, he tended to sweat a lot when nervous, and his toupee wasn’t fooling anybody. In spite of this, he’d made a name for himself in the Japanese entertainment industry by being a surprisingly charismatic negotiator. The second he spoke to Ann, there was a disarming quality to his voice that seemed to calm her down a little.

“I promise you’ll be able to go back to your family in a few minutes. But there’s somebody I wanted you to meet.”

“Who?” Ann asked.

“Hello, Takamaki-San.”

Ann shrieked at the new voice. She didn’t notice him before, but standing in the corner of the room was a lanky, pale-skinned caucasian man in his 20s in a pressed suit with large glasses and orange hair. He stepped forward and bowed.

“My name is Killian MacPherson. It’s an honor to make your acquaintance.”

“N-nice to meet you.” Ann bowed back, wondering how the hell she didn’t notice this red-mopped string bean of a man before.

“Killian here is your new assistant” Gouda said.

“My what?”

“Your assistant.” Gouda leaned back in his chair. “You know, to help you out with things. Running errands, managing your schedule, making sure you get places on time, whatever you need to make your life go as smoothly as possible.”

“What do I need all that for?” Ann asked. “I’ve done just fine on my own so far.”

“Look, Ann…” Gouda twiddled his thumbs as he mulled over his words. “You’re great. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. You’re beautiful, you’re talented, and everyone says you’re a delight to work with. But you’re also a little absent-minded sometimes.”

“Are you calling me dumb!?”

“Of course not!” Gouda gave Ann a big smile. “But you tend to spread yourself a bit thin, and sometimes things slip through the cracks. Like that shoot the other day.” Gouda took a quick breath. “Look, you’re a gal who wants it all. Loving family AND successful career, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, that’s what Killian’s for!” Gouda flailed his arms in Killian’s direction. “He’s gonna make sure those cracks get filled so you can have everything you want and your life goes as smoothly as possible.”

“I mean, that sounds nice and all…” Ann looked Killian up and down before looking back at Gouda. “But isn’t that part of what you do?”

“Look, Ann, you know I’m willing to do anything for my clients, but you’re not my only client, and I can’t dedicate all my time to you. Killian here can help you keep things together so I don’t have to step in and smooth things over. He’s very smart, you know.” Gouda swiveled in his chair to face Killian. “Tell her how smart you are, kid.”

“Well…” Killian adjusted his glasses. “I’m not certain if education is reflective of intelligence, but I did graduate from the University of Oxford’s Saïd Business School with high marks.”

“He’s being modest!” Gouda grinned. “The kid was summa cum laude! That’s the HIGHEST marks. AND he’s fluent in eight languages!”

“Wow, that sounds impressive.” Ann’s face scrunched up and she looked at Killian in disbelief. “And you want to be some celebrity’s assistant?”

“I do.” Killian gave a small, unnatural-looking smile. “I’m a big fan of yours, Takamaki-San.”

“I don’t know about this…”

“C’mon, Ann. The longer you’re here arguing about this with me, the longer you’re away from your family, right?” Gouda adjusted his toupee. “Just give the kid a week and see if you like him. If not, I’ll send his ass back to Ireland personally.”

“Oh my god!” Ann gawked at her manager. “You can’t just say that in front of him!”

“It’s quite alright” Killian said. “I have several job offers waiting for me back in my home country. I simply thought I would try coming to Japan and seeing what opportunities may present themselves first.”

“Ok then…” Ann crossed her arms. “But I still don’t know if this is gonna work.”

* * *

“Having an assistant is the best!”

Ann sat in Leblanc with Futaba. The cafe’s relative obscurity and older customer base made it one of the last places in the city she could go out to and still find some measure of privacy.

“Like, I was just thinking out loud about how I could go for a crepe once filming was done for the day. And it’s not like I told Killian to go get me one, but once the director yelled ‘cut’, there he was behind the camera with a freshly-made crepe! I didn’t have to stand in line or anything!”

“Sounds nice” Futaba said. “I can’t imagine what it’d be like to have somebody who just goes out and gets whatever you want for you.”

Over in the kitchen, Sojiro grumbled something, but it couldn’t be heard over the sound of him washing out a pot.

“I can’t believe I went this long without it.” Ann stretched her arms over the back of the booth with a big smile on her face. “The life of a celebrity’s not easy, you know. Film shoots and photo shoots are exhausting, and there’s all the special appearances and people coming up to you on the street and stuff. And it’s totally worth it, but it makes it hard to just, y’know, live life. So now I have a guy who just does all the little stuff for me!”

“So does that mean you don’t wanna know what I found in that background check?” Futaba asked.

“No, tell me.” Ann’s expression sobered. “Killian’s good at his job but he’s kinda strange. I’m still not convinced he’s not some kind of robot or something. He knows a lot of stuff and does what I need, but he also seems like he's not used to talking to people and is always kinda watching stuff in this weird way, even for a foreigner.” Ann snickered. “Actually, all of that plus how lanky he is and his red hair makes him kind of like if you and Yusuke had a kid.”

“OH, BLECH!” Futaba stuck out her tongue and winced. “You can’t say something like that when I’m doing a favor for you! In fact, you can’t say something like that ever! If you even joke about me and Inari doing… THAT, this friendship is over forever!”

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry!” Ann held up her hands. “Just show me what you found, please.”

“Fine. Apology accepted, I guess.” Futaba was a little surly as she opened her laptop, but after clicking open a few files, her mood returned to normal. “Killian MacPherson. Born in Derry, Ireland on July 15th, 2010. He comes from a rich family of landowners who deal in real estate and property management and sent him away to fancy boarding schools and stuff. Graduated at the top of his class from Oxford’s business school a few years ago. He has no criminal record of any kind and every job he’s ever had and all known associates are totally above-board and not shady.” 

“Ok, but what about the unofficial stuff?” Ann asked. “How do I know he’s not a psycho stalker or something?”

“Well, there’s some stuff about you in his search history, but I wouldn’t be too worried about it” Futaba said. “Most of it is places to purchase your shows and movies. He doesn’t even pirate them! And there’s some recent stuff looking up gossip articles and celebrity trivia about you, but all of that came after searching for information on how to be a good personal assistant, so he was probably researching you for his job.”

“That’s normal. I think. Anything else?”

“Nope. Everything else is just normal day to day life stuff. No crazy forum posts or secret troll social media accounts or weird porn searches or anything. He doesn’t even have normal porn searches, actually.”

“Really? None at all?” Ann scratched her head. “Are you sure he’s not a robot?”

“Pretty sure he’s not.” Futaba closed her laptop and shrugged. “If he is a robot, somebody went to a lot of trouble to falsify his history. Though speaking from my own experience dealing with forged documents, there don’t seem to be any signs of fakery here. I think he’s just an ordinary, non-threatening weirdo.”

“Well, so long as he’s non-threatening-“

Ann stopped when her phone started buzzing. She checked the caller ID, saw it was Shiho, and answered immediately.

“Hey Shiho, what’s up?” Ann chuckled as Shiho spoke and mouthed ‘speak of the devil’ to Futaba. “Yeah, that’s the new assistant I was telling you about. I told him to get my car washed and bring it back home.”

Futaba couldn’t hear what Shiho was saying on the other side, but from how Ann’s eyes widened, she could tell it wasn’t good.

“What do you mean ‘he won’t leave’?”

* * *

Shiho poked her head out of the kitchen. Killian was still standing in the entrance to their home, still as a statue, staring at Shiho with an unsettling smile on his face. Jean hid behind Shiho’s legs, pulling on the hem of her shirt.

“Mama, who is that man?” Jean whispered.

“Don’t talk to him, sweetie” Shiho said. “Just go up to your room.” As Jean scurried out of the room, Shiho yelled into the phone. “I mean ‘he won’t leave’! He’s just standing there and says he can’t leave our home until you come back, no matter how many times I tell him to go!”

“He’s waiting for me?” Ann asked. “Did he give a reason?”

“He said you told him to wait for you, I think?”

“Excuse me.” Killian spoke up from the entryway, able to hear Shiho’s side of the conversation. “Takamaki-San said to me, and I quote, ‘Get my car washed and then bring it back to me at my home’. Takamaki-San is not at her home yet, so the conditions of my assignment have not been fulfilled.” Killian reached into his pocket and pulled out the car keys. “Until I give these keys to Takamaki-San herself, I may not leave the premises until she arrives, lest I be disobeying her orders.”

“He says he’ll only give the car keys to you because you told him to” Shiho said.

“I did?” Ann asked.

“That’s what he’s telling me.” Shiho groaned. “Something about you saying ‘bring the car to me at my home’ or something.”

“Oh yeah, I guess I did say that.” Ann sighed. “Put him on the phone.”

“I don’t wanna get near him” Shiho said.

“Don’t worry about it. I think he’s just really literal about stuff.” Ann snickered. “Besides, have you seen how thin he is? A stiff breeze could knock him over. If he tries anything funny, you can totally take him.”

“Alright…” Shiho uneasily walked down the hall to Killian and held out the phone, making sure to keep a few feet away from him. “Ann wants to talk to you.”

“Of course.” Killian accepted the phone. “Hello, Takamaki-San. I am waiting at your home. How long do you think it will be until you arrive to accept your car from me?”

“Hey, Killian” Ann said. “I don’t know how long I’m gonna be. Give the keys to Shiho and go home.”

“Are you certain?” Killian asked. “You said to me-“

“Listen up.” Ann paused as she tried to think of the perfect way to explain the situation to a man who displayed as little understanding of human interaction as Killian had showed her over the past few days. “Shiho’s my partner. That means she’s my equal in all affairs of like, property and stuff. If I ask you to bring something to my house, you can leave it with Shiho.”

“I see.” Killian scratched his chin. “So to be clear, once I give Suzui-San the car keys, I’m off duty for the day?”

“Yeah. Don’t stick around the house. You’re freaking Shiho out.”

“I am?”

“Yes.”

“Oh dear.” Killian frowned. It was just as unnatural as his smile. “It seems I’ve committed a grievous error. I shall submit my letter of resignation to Gouda-San as soon as I have completed this errand.”

“You don’t have to do that!” Ann yelled. “Just- Look, we can talk about this more tomorrow. For now, just give Shiho the keys and get out of my house, ok?”

“Understood. Goodbye, Takamaki-San.”

“Later, Killian.”

Ann hung up. Killian held out the phone and keys to Shiho.

“For you, Suzui-San.”

Shiho took the items wordlessly, checking the phone to see if the call with Ann was still going. When she looked away from the phone, she saw Killian bowing to her.

“Please, allow me to extend my apologies, Suzui-San” Killian said. “I was only attempting to fulfill my duties as Takamaki-San’s assistant to the best of my ability. It was not my intention to upset you or your son with my presence.”

“Oh.” Shiho pocketed her phone and keys. “Well, I… appreciate that. And I forgive you.”

“I am grateful for that.” Killian rose, an almost-normal smile on his face. “Well then, I shall take my leave. Until another time, Suzui-San.”

* * *

The next few weeks passed without incident. Killian was still kind of weird, but Ann began to find some of his odd behaviors endearing, and over time she started to enjoy his company and even recognize little bits of genuine human emotion beneath his outward robotic behaviors. Shiho didn’t get that far, but her interactions with him were usually kept brief, polite, and dull, though she always felt a little unsettled by his presence. Still, he did his job well, and as a result Ann seemed a lot happier and less stressed in general, so Shiho was accepting of him, if not a bit begrudgingly. And life continued as normal for everyone, with Ann doing her job, going to shoots, making public appearances, and still finding time to spend with her family.

Until…

“But it’s date night!” Ann yelled into the phone. “Shiho and I are supposed to go to this new super-fancy vegetarian place together!”

“But you hate vegetables” Gouda said.

“I know that! You think I don’t know that!?” Ann pinched her forehead. “But I promised Shiho I’d go with her. We even got a friend to look after Jean for the night!”

“I’m sorry, Ann, but this was last-minute info for me too. The director’s got a hole in his schedule, and if you want the part, he’s gotta meet with you TONIGHT. I had to call in a dozen favors just to arrange this meeting!”

“So if I don’t go, I can say goodbye to the role!?”

“That’s the long and short of it.” Gouda’s voice lowered a bit. “Look, I know this isn’t ideal, but this could be the biggest role of your career! Shiho’s a big girl, she’ll understand.”

“Yeah, but she won’t be happy about it.”

“That’s life. Sometimes it punches us in the nuts. I’ve got somebody on the way to you for hair and makeup right now.”

“Seriously?”

“This ain’t casual, Ann. Gotta pull out all the stops. Somebody’ll be bringing by a dress too. I don’t wanna hear arguments about it. Just follow my calls tonight and a year from now you’ll be the biggest star in Japan!”

Ann hung up in frustration. Killian watched in silence as she picked up the phone again and dialed Shiho. The next two minutes were very uncomfortable, though things seemed to settle down near the end.

“I love you too” Ann said. “See you later tonight.”

Ann groaned as she put down the phone again and leaned back in her chair. She looked up at her assistant.

“This is the worst, Killian.”

“I don’t understand, Takamaki-San.” Killian tilted his head. “Did you not end your conversation professing your love for each other? Is that not a good thing?”

“It’s the way she said it.” Ann pulled at her hair. “I’ve had to blow Shiho off a couple times already lately, which is why tonight was so important to her. I gotta find a way to make it up to her.”

“Could you not reschedule your date?”

“I mean, obviously we gotta do that, but I wanna do something for her right now.” Ann stood up and pointed at Killian, a big smile forming on her face. “And you’re gonna help me!”

“Of course, Takamaki-San.” Killian stood at attention. “What do you require of me?”

“I can’t do anything for Shiho right now because I gotta go to this meeting, but it’s your job to run around and do stuff for me! So you can go and give her an apology gift for me!”

“An excellent idea, Takamaki-San!” Killian clasped his hands together. “It will be just like on television, when men buy women flowers!”

“Yeah, but we’re gonna do a lot better than flowers.” Ann reached into her purse and pulled out a credit card, tossing it to Killian. “Use my black card. I figure a gift bag with three or four things in it should put her in a good mood. Start by going to that liquor store in Shinjuku and getting the best vodka they have. Then-“

A knock came from the door of Ann’s dressing room.

“Takamaki-San,” a woman’s voice said from the other side, “I’m here for your makeup!”

“Come in!” Ann said.

A slightly younger woman entered the room with a large makeup bag in her hand. She settled it on the table and immediately began fussing over Ann.

“Alright, I shall procure vodka” Killian said. “What else should I get, Takamaki-San?”

“Well-“

“No talking, please!” the makeup artist shouted. “I need to take in your face as it is, see what I’m working with.”

“You’ve met Shiho” Ann said through clenched teeth. “Just get her stuff she likes.”

“Like what?” Killian asked.

“EXCUSE ME!” The makeup artist turned to Killian angrily. “I can’t focus with all this chit-chat going on! You need to leave!”

“But I-“

“Gouda-San told me to work as quickly as possible, so every second you throw me off is a second you’re putting Takamaki-San’s career in jeopardy!” The makeup artist shoved Killian out of the room. “Get out and let me work!”

The door slammed in Killian’s face. He looked down at the black card Ann had given him, focusing intensely on it.

“What DOES Suzui-San like?”


	2. The Continued Adventures of the Red-Haired Stranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killian struggles to learn how to deal with Ann's family.

Shiho sat in her little office in Protein Lover’s, updating the workout plan for the client she just finished her session with. She was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Hey Suzui…” the door opened and Shiho’s boss poked his head in. “You’ve got a visitor.”

“My schedule’s full, Kuroda” Shiho said. “I can’t take on any new trainees right now.”

“I don’t think this guy’s here to work out.” Kuroda scratched his head. “He’s some kinda foreigner wearin’ a suit.”

“A foreigner in a suit?” Shiho pondered this information for a moment, then looked at her boss worriedly. “Does he speak like a robot?”

“Yup.”

“Ugh.” Shiho leaned back in her chair. “Send him in.”

Kuroda slid out of the doorway and Killian entered, holding a large pink bag.

“Good afternoon, Suzui-San” Killian said.

“Hi, Killian.” Shiho tried to put on a friendly demeanor, but it was hard to hide her exasperation. “What brings you by?”

“Well, as you know, Takamaki-San had to cancel your date tonight-“

“Yeah, I know.” Shiho dropped any pretense of friendliness, scowling at Killian. “What about it?”

“Well, she felt rather terrible about the whole affair, knowing how important tonight was to you, so she requested that I assemble this care package of sorts as an apology.” Killian held up the bag.

“An apology, huh?” Shiho’s mood lightened a little, most of the disgust replaced with curiosity. “Alright, let’s see what you’ve got.”

“Yes, well…” Killian reached into the bag. “Takamaki-San told me to, and I quote, ‘get her stuff she likes’. And given your love of athletics, the first thing I purchased for you is…” Killian pulled a small, black, bulbous object with a needle out of the bag and held it out to Shiho. “A pocket volleyball pump. It is small and can be taken with you in case you need to inflate a volleyball on the go.”

“Gee, thanks.” Shiho rolled her eyes as she took the pump, giving it a couple squeezes before placing it on her desk. “This is the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever been given.”

“Excellent!” Killian beamed (or did the closest thing his barely-expressive face could to beaming) at Shiho. “I was afraid you wouldn’t like it.”

“I was being sar- Never mind.” Shiho shook her head. “What else is in there?”

“Next up, chocolates!” Killian pulled out a box of gourmet chocolates. “Purchased from Takamaki-San’s favorite chocolatier downtown.”

“Some apology gift.” Shiho smirked as she took the chocolates. “I just know she’s gonna be asking for one later.”

“I don’t know if I can speak to that.” Killian reached his hand into the bag again. “Perhaps the vodka will be more to your liking.”

“Now we’re talking.” Shiho put the chocolates away in her desk and rubbed her hands together. “What’d you get? Grey Goose?”

“I believe the brand is Russian Standard.” Killian pulled the bottle out of the bag. Although it wasn’t really a bottle. It was a golden faberge egg, a few small colorful jewels set into the sides, with a golden eagle cap on top. “This is-“

“OH MY GOD!” Shiho rose out of her chair and grabbed the egg from Killian, eyeing it closely. “This is Imperial Collection Super Premium Vodka! Is this real!?”

“Yes.”

“This is over 250,000 yen!” Shiho looked up at Killian in amazement. “Ann REALLY told you to get this!?”

“She instructed me to go to the liquor store in Shinjuku and, I quote, ‘get the best vodka they have’. As this was the most expensive item there, I assumed it was the best.”

“No shit it is!” Shiho held the bottle up to the light in the same way one would inspect a bill to see if it was counterfeit. “I’ve wanted to try this stuff forever! Now THIS makes up for cancelling tonight!”

“Perhaps I should have saved it for last then.” Killian looked in the bag. “I imagine this next item can’t hold up in comparison.”

“There’s more!?”

“Yes. Here.” Killian reached into the bag one final time. Shiho's smile fell, and her eyes widened.

“I had to guess the sizes, but I believe I remembered your build well enough to-“

“Is that lingerie!?” Shiho’s good mood once again died, the rage she was feeling at the start of this encounter back with a vengeance. Killian did not seem to notice the shift.

“It is.” Killian was holding a skimpy set of white underwear covered in frills and lace on a hanger.

“What made you think it was a good idea to buy me underwear!? Do you have any idea how inappropriate that is!?”

“I apologize.” Killian stared at the garments. “I thought ‘Sensuality by Bebe’ was your preferred brand of lingerie.”

“How do you know that!?”

“Takamaki-San told me.”

“SHE DID!?” Shiho threw the undergarments into her chair. “Did she tell you to get these for me!?”

“No, she was interrupted before she could give me full instructions. Most of this gift bag’s contents are improvisations on my part.” Killian continued on with the same indiscernible facial expression he always had. “I assumed you would appreciate it, since Takamaki-San’s description of you in this brand in one of her many recollections of your shared nights of passion was, and I quote, ‘looking tastier than a triple-chocolate crepe with’-“

* * *

“YOU SLAPPED HIM!?”

Ann stood in the doorway of her bedroom, having finally gotten home from a long-running dinner and afterparty. She had expected to see Shiho already asleep, and while Shiho was in bed, she was both awake and wearing a thick tracksuit instead of her pajamas for some reason. When Ann had asked how Shiho liked her gifts, Shiho recounted the full details of Killian’s visit.

“Shut the door and lower your voice” Shiho said. “Jean’s sleeping.”

“You can’t just hit my assistant, Shiho!” Ann nearly slammed the door, overcoming her anger just enough to remember to let it close silently at the last second. “What the hell were you thinking!?”

“What he did was completely inappropriate!” Shiho rose from the bed. “And what were YOU thinking!? You can’t just go around telling people about our sex life!”

“I didn’t tell everyone, just Killian!”

“That’s not better!”

“What!? He’s asexual! It’s not like he gets off on it or anything!”

“That’s not the point!” Shiho poked Ann’s chest. “Our private affairs are PRIVATE! You can’t just go around telling whoever you want about what we do in the bedroom, Ann!”

“It’s not like I gave him a play by play or anything.” Ann crossed her arms. “I was just bragging about how pretty my girlfriend is. You should be flattered.”

“If it was about something I wore on a date that’d be one thing, but not right before sex! How could you think that’s-“ Shiho sharply inhaled and pinched her forehead. “You know, people at the gym ask me about us all the time. Everybody knows I’m dating the famous actress Ann Takamaki, and they want to know all kinds of details about our relationship and what you’re like behind closed doors. I don’t tell them anything because I know how much that kind of thing creeps you out.”

Ann stood in silence as Shiho sat down on the bed again, turning her back to her.

“But if you want to start gossiping about everything we do, we can try that, I guess. I’ll start telling people at the gym about what we do together. Then all the tabloids can pick it up and spread it around, and Jean can grow up in a world where everybody knows all of our private business and have to deal with the awkward fallout for the rest of his formative years.”

“Come on, Shiho! That’s not fair!” Ann stomped over to the bed, looming over her partner. “It’s not like I’m broadcasting us having sex to the world! I told one guy that you were hot because I just wanted to tell somebody and I knew he wouldn’t make a big thing out of it!”

“He showed up to my job to give me underwear!”

“He doesn’t have normal reactions to things! He didn’t mean-“

“It doesn’t matter what he meant! It was extremely inappropriate!”

Ann slowly walked around to the other side of the bed and sat down.

“You’re right.” Ann sighed. “I didn’t think talking to Killian about this stuff would be a big deal, but I forgot that he doesn’t have normal reactions to things. I get why this upsets you, and I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

There was a moment of silence before Shiho finally responded.

“Well, good. I forgive you.”

“And I’m gonna have a serious talk with Killian about how to be appropriate in general, because we can’t keep dealing with this kind of thing as it happens on a case-by-case basis.”

“It’d probably just be easier to fire him.”

“I’m not doing that. And also you need to apologize for hitting him.”

“Yeah…” Shiho lay down on her back. “I know.”

* * *

And so again, things continued normally. Shiho’s interactions with Killian were kept brief and went without incident, largely thanks to his new practice of mentally filtering things before speaking to her to see if it was likely she would take issue with it. Tensions settled between Ann and Shiho, although Ann’s landing the big role she’d been going for kept her pretty busy. She seemed to have less and less time for her family, which is why when she finally got invited to a big fancy party she could bring Shiho to, they decided to make a date night out of it.

But of course things couldn’t go that smoothly.

“Can’t you just wear a mask or something!?” Ann yelled into the phone. “If it’s just about getting Jean sick, he can wear one too!”

“It hurts to move” Futaba said with a raspy voice. “Sorry, Ann. Gotta cancel.”

“Alright, I understand” Ann grumbled. “Feel better, Futaba.”

“Oh dear.” Shiho looked at Ann with concern. “That doesn’t sound good.”

“Futaba’s sick” Ann said. “Which means we’re out a babysitter.”

“Is there anybody else we can ask to look after Jean tonight? Like Haru?”

“Haru’s out of town, remember?” Ann groaned as she started counting no-longer-viable options off her fingers. “Boss has to take care of Futaba now, Ren, Makoto, Ryuji, Hifumi, Yusuke, and Chihaya are all gonna be at the party, Ryuji’s mom’s already gonna have her hands full with her grandkids, and Sae’s already busy with Ren and Makoto’s girls.”

“Eiko-San’s in town, isn’t she?” Shiho asked.

“Do you really trust Eiko to look after a kid?”

“No.” Shiho shuddered. “Jean would probably be traumatized. I guess we’ll just have to cancel our night out.”

“Yeah…” Ann leaned against the wall and groaned. “So much for a big party with a bunch of our friends.”

“It’s not so bad.” Shiho leaned against Ann. “We can have a nice night in with Jean instead. Watch a movie, order some pizza and eat ice cream without worrying about the nutritional content, maybe have a couple drinks after Jean goes to bed.”

“Or…” Ann’s eyes lit up. “There’s one more person we could ask to look after Jean.”

“Who?”

“Well, I think it’s a good idea, but you’re probably not gonna like it.”

“Who would you want that I wouldn’t-“ Shiho realized who Ann was talking about and a vein in her forehead started throbbing. “NO. Absolutely not!”

“It’s the only option we have.”

* * *

“…And most importantly, don’t say anything weird to him!”

Killian stood in attendance with Shiho mere inches away from his face, angrily relaying her instructions. Combined with the sleek white dress she was wearing, the imposing stance and enraged face she displayed was quite a sight. Ann, for her part, stood in the front door of their home, wearing a red dress the same style as Shiho’s white, affectionately rubbing Jean’s head as his new babysitter had his orders drilled into him.

“Of course, Suzui-San” Killian said. “Though I must confess I’m not entirely certain what you mean by ‘weird’.”

“Just none of your usual craziness! Just talk about normal things! If I find out you upset him in any way tonight, I swear I’ll-“

“Ok Shiho, I think he gets the point.” Ann removed her hand from her son and grabbed Shiho’s shoulder. “Let’s get going. Fashionably late’s one thing, but we don’t wanna keep everybody waiting on us forever.”

“Fine.” Shiho crouched down and put her hands on Jean’s shoulders. “Now Jean, if anything feels wrong, I want you to call me immediately, alright?”

“Okay, Mama” Jean said.

“That’s enough already!” Ann grabbed Shiho’s wrist and started dragging her out the door. “They’ll be fine! Bye, Jean! Be a good boy for Killian, okay?”

“Okay.” Jean waved as his moms stepped out the door. “Bye.”

“Have a delightful evening” Killian added.

The door closed and Jean turned to Killian, looking up at him expectantly. Killian returned the look, trying to think of what to do now. Ann had informed him that his job was to make sure that Jean was fed, kept entertained, and in bed by 8:00 PM. But Shiho’s instruction to not say anything weird had him second-guessing all of his natural instincts. Killian had to find something normal to talk to Jean about. But just what WAS normal? It was such a nebulous concept.

Finally, after what he hoped wasn’t too much time, Killian came up with something.

“Jean-Kun,” Killian asked, “do you like bread?”

Jean nodded.

* * *

Ann came home a little after midnight, having to support the weight of a very drunken, stumbling Shiho on her shoulder.

“You just HAD to down that entire shot at once” Ann said. “You know you have the tolerance of a mouse!”

Shiho moaned something incoherent in response.

“Whatever. We wanted to have a good time, and we did.” Ann dragged Shiho to the stairs. “Come on, it’s time to call it a night.”

“Takamaki-San?” Killian’s voice came from above. “Is that you?”

“Yeah” Ann said. “Come help me get Shiho up the stairs.”

“Right away, Takamaki-San.”

Killian came trotting down the stairs, wearing a face mask, rubber gloves, and an apron.

“What’s with that get-up?” Ann asked.

“Well, Jean-Kun has been asleep for four hours now, and periodic check-ins to make sure he remains sleeping aside, I found myself without anything to do. So I decided to begin cleaning the house.”

“You know we hire people for that, right?”

“Of course. I’m the one who schedules your weekly appointments with a team of cleaners.” Killian nodded as he helped Ann keep Shiho on her feet. “But filth can manifest in a mere day, especially in a home with a child, even one as fastidious as Jean-Kun, and I did not want to risk an errant virus infecting your system between now and the next time the cleaners come due to improper sterilization.”

“Uh… thanks.” Ann looked up the stairs. “Let’s get Shiho to bed.”

It only took a minute to get Shiho upstairs, the task actually becoming easier once she’d passed out completely and stopped shifting her weight around. Finally, they unceremoniously dropped her onto her and Ann’s bed, Ann sitting down at the bed’s edge once she was finally relieved of the weight.

“Thanks.” Ann wiped the sweat from her brow. “Usually I just have to leave her on the couch when she gets like this. She’s too heavy for me to carry up the stairs alone.”

“Yes, Suzui-San is surprisingly heavy for somebody her size.” Killian remained standing at the foot of the bed.

“Oh man, she’d kick your ass if she were awake to hear you.” Ann snickered. “It’s all muscle weight. She’s really toned. No alcohol tolerance, though.”

“And yet she still insists on drinking?”

“She doesn’t like being left out of things.” Ann’s eyes fell to her passed-out girlfriend. “Goes back to some things that happened in our second year of high school.”

“What sort of things?”

“That’s way too heavy to talk about right now.” Ann looked back up at Killian. “So, how was Jean?”

“Jean-Kun was perfectly behaved.” It was impossible to tell since Killian’s facial expressions were hard enough to discern even when his mouth wasn’t covered with a mask, but the slightest shift in his eyes led Ann to believe he was smiling. “He ate dinner without complaint, took a bath in a timely manner, and caused no trouble of any kind the entire evening.”

“Well duh, I coulda told you that.” Ann waved her hand dismissively. “I’m asking if you two had fun together.”

“Oh, yes.” Killian reached into his pocket and pulled out a bunch of folded-up papers. “Jean-Kun kept himself entertained by drawing. Would you like to see his work?”

“Sure!” Ann took the first sheet of paper and unfolded it. There was a long brown oval with some lines drawn on it. “What’s this?”

“That’s a baguette.”

“Ok…” Ann took the next one. It was another brown object, square on the bottom but round and puffy at the top. “Is this one a muffin?”

“No, I believe that is a simple loaf of bread.”

“Weird.” Ann raised her eyebrow. “Are ALL of the drawings bread?”

Killian nodded eagerly.

“Why?”

“It’s what we spent most of the evening discussing.”

“You talked about bread all night?”

“Suzui-San did instruct me to speak of normal things.” Killian scratched his chin. “Although now that I think about it, I suppose rice would be more common than bread in this country. Perhaps we should have talked about rice instead…”

“I think you’re fine.” Ann had to keep in her laughter, which was very difficult due to how late it was and how much she’d been drinking. “Get home safe, Killian.”

“Of course, Takamaki-San.” Killian picked up a feather duster. “As soon as I’m finished tidying the house.”

“Go home now, dummy.” Ann rolled her eyes. “Get some sleep.”

“As you wish, Takamaki-San.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have some more ideas, but I'm not sure if they'll be enough for a third chapter or not. Either I'll post a chapter 3 at some point or just mark this story as complete after the fact. Either way, Killian will appear in more stories in the future.

**Author's Note:**

> Killian was a totally random idea I had, and then after joking around with Hureno and slowly developing him over like two hours, I realized I HAD to write a story about him. I'm hoping he proves to inspire me to write some more Ann-centric stuff in the future.


End file.
